Michigan Touts Growth of Labor Export Market

Funny story written by Philip Moon

Sunday, 20 December 2009

image for Michigan Touts Growth of Labor Export Market
The Gubenatorial Limo, willing to move anywhere for a job

Lansing, MI - Michigan's unemployment rate currently sits at 14.7%, the highest in the nation. That is lowered than the 15.3% in October. Governor Jennifer Granholm touted the drop and pinned it on the state's growing labor export sector.

"While some states have had rising unemployment, we've shown remarkable ability to move resources in our economy. We have one of the best skilled workforces in the country and we are proud to know that they are spreading out across the country," Granholm said.

While several states have workers idled, Michigan has benefited from workers leaving. Its skilled workforce is desired by the companies that are hiring and job fairs have brought much needed money to the state's hospitality industry.

"Not a day goes buy in Michigan that some hotel conference center isn't hosting some career fair seeking the highly skilled workforce to join their factories and offices in far away states and countries," Granholm said proudly.

The state's travel industry is doing well as moving van rentals and airline ticket sales have recovered as people move out of the state. Soon the state hopes that remittances start coming in from workers who have left.

"We hope to soon have out payday loan service humming with the cashing of Western Union checks, and out liquor stores flowing pain-easing booze to the average Michigander left behind," Granholm said.

Brighter pastures have been a calling for many skilled Michiganders for years and several former Michiganders have gotten jobs simply recruiting workers from their former state.

"Michigan expatriates are our best diplomats," said Randy Han of Employment Placement Solutions Consulting 101, a company that seeks workers for companies, "There is a lot of value in the ability to speak the Yooper dialect, play euchre and pull a Michigan left turn on the road. We've managed to find and place many good workers because of this."

Granholm said she hoped to see Michigan's export of labor go strong into the year 2011.

"When I leave office in January of that year, I want to know that I, like any Michigander, can step out from an old job and find a good paying job somewhere else in the country. I'd like for many companies to look to the Michigan workforce, and my resume, which is available via my LinkedIn page," Granholm said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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