Tony Hayward Fired and Asked to Repay Spill Cleanup Costs

Funny story written by Charpa93

Sunday, 25 July 2010


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Will you take that in pounds, sir?

Everyone expected Tony Hayward, embattled CEO of BP Oil to be fired eventually over his mishandling of the Gulf oil spill, but it was a big surprise when news came out that BP is holding Hayward personally responsible for the cost of the clean up.

The results of a private investigation by BP on the cause and subsequent botched clean-up efforts indicate that Hayward knew ahead of time that this was going to happen and that it was going to be the biggest environmental disaster in US history.

Proof comes in the fact that just weeks before the oil platform explosion occurred, Hayward cashed in a substantial amount of stock to pay off his mansion in Kent, England. That, and the fact that any caring CEO would not have gone yacht watching when the handling of the oil spill was his responsibility. Those two factors were the primary reasons blame for the entire fiasco was placed squarely on Hayward's slight, but firm shoulders.

But before we feel the slightest twinge of pity for Mr. Hayward, understand that men like him don't usually end up actually having to pay anything and regularly go on to head other businesses making ridiculous sums of money. Besides, as Hayward once said, "I am but a lowly geologist who just happened to be in charge of the wrong platform at the wrong time."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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