Wan Van Man, Dan, An' Tan Man, Stan, Can Ban Gran's Fan Plan

Written by The Medium Cheese

Friday, 11 June 2010

image for Wan Van Man, Dan, An' Tan Man, Stan, Can Ban Gran's Fan Plan
Edna Hiscox's garden, next year, possibly

89 year-old grandmother of 13 Edna Hiscox has hit a problem with her planning application to erect a wind turbine in her garden in Duke Street, Peckham.

Two local businessmen, Daniel Lovatt and Stanley Stitt, obtained a court injunction on Tuesday preventing the construction from making any further progress, pending a public inquiry.

Gaunt-faced Daniel Lovatt runs a delivery company in Duke Street, and is concerned that the turbine tower would restrict access to his yard, which is behind Mrs Hiscox's house. He says he needs 24 hour access via Duke Street and North Road to get his vans in and out, or his business would suffer. He claims that the tower would prevent him from turning right out of the yard, meaning his vans would have to take a 1.5 mile detour through a housing estate.

Stanley Stitt owns a popular solarium opposite the proposed site, and claims that all local business in Duke Street would suffer if construction went ahead. He claims the turbine would detract from the character of the street, and drive shoppers toward out-of-town shopping centres.

"We know we have a lot of local opposition to the planning application and hope that this inquiry will put paid to Mrs Hiscox's ideas", Mr Stitt told us.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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