Scottish Man Who Says "That's Thinkin' With Your Dipstick" Revealed

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Saturday, 5 September 2009

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I'd like to hit that with my dipstick a few times

In a series of television commercials for a major oil company, a Scottish man runs around hitting people who choose the wrong brand for their cars. He swats them on the back of their legs and says "Think with your dipstick, Jimmy" or "That's thinkin' with your dipstick!"

A Hollywood ad agency has revealed that the person underneath that make-up and behind the Scottish brogue is none other than actress, personality, and party girl Paris Hilton.

When asked why she was disguising herself and doing the car company commeercials, Paris gave several reasons:

  • "Nobody else would hire me."
  • "I knew Nicole Richie wouldn't want to tag along because auto shops are greasy and dirty and stuff."
  • "I get to beat men with this long, skinny, metal thingie (I don't know what it's called)."
  • "They pay me money."
  • "I always wondered what it was like to be a redhead."


Paris celebrated the revelation by offering to film a new sex tape with anyone who wanted her to beat them with the dipstick.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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