Paris Hilton, tabloid darling, and Matthew Parris, broadsheet columnist are to merge in the media deal of the century.
Ms Paris, famous for amateur sex antics, and Mr Paris, who famously had Mrs Thatcher as his fag hag, are hoping to make history as a media creation that successfully bridges the gap between the libidinous masses and the cerebral few. Inevitably they are to be called a ce-libido-ral-try couple.
They will be writing and producing articles which are both heavy in political thought and philosophy whilst being moist and dripping with sexual longing and desire.
"Matthew will contribute his first class Cambridge educated brain, his broad range of interests and acerbic wit. Paris will have her tits," the Paris/Pariss combo's agent said.
