Off-the-Wall-Street, NYC - (Fetid Ass Mess): NYPD officers are investigating a series of crude death threats sent to JP Morgan CEO James Dimon.
The move follows reports that the US Postal Inspection Service has intercepted 'literally dozens' of anonymous typewritten messages saying "Wot you mean no Xmas bonus for Brit fatcats?"
Dimon, 69, recently announced his 'sorrow and dismay' at being voted down over the payment of promised $5 million-a-pop annual bonus to a newly recruited specialist consultant who 'very kindly helped the US government take over the American banking system for the good of humanity as a whole'
A wacking great big 10x4ft hole has appeared in Cherie Blair's newly erected sexercise pool.
