Lontax, the London black taxi manufacturer with the name loathed by the Chancellor because he didn't think to register it himself as a stealth tax for Londoners, has today confirmed the sale of 100 of their taxis to the Taliban in Afghanistan.
A spokeswoman for the company, Cora Blimey, was said to be thrilled that news of the quality of their product had such far reaching appeal, particularly to a group of people such as the Taliban who don't watch television, listen to the radio or read newspapers. Although Mrs Blimey did admit that they made some really great threatening videos. And they possibly have a lot of sex.
Not just with each other.
Anyway, the taxis are due for delivery to the Taliban in time for the post-Christmas sales in Kabul. Speaking for the Taliban, their Secretary of State for Terrorism, Ataqsi Driveur, was said to highly regard British Engineering, and fondly remembered his trip in a black cab in London, although he would have liked to have had a driver at the time.
However, what sold him on the idea of purchasing the black cabs for the Taliban was their ability to spontaneously combust.
He said; "This is a very convenient method of us going about our car bombing business. To have a first-class, quality-built car that takes all the effort out of having to blow it up ourselves is fantastic. It is also such a boon to the safety of the driver, until such time of course that the driver ignites.
"Then it becomes a boom to the driver."
