Written by Angus McFiddle

Friday, 19 September 2008

image for Credit Crunch doesn't exist, research suggests
A mock up of how a Credit Crunch might have looked.

The newspapers are all writing about it, the TV and radio stations are full of people talking about it, housewives are all chinwagging about it, and business people are all afraid of it.

But new research suggests that the popular Credit Crunch is a myth. In a survey commissioned jointly by Sugar Daddies and Sherbet Dips, 1000 researchers were sent out to corner shops all over the UK. Not one of them was able to find a Credit Crunch.

"We saw lots of Dairy Crunch, Dairy Milk, Crunchies, Kit-Kats, Twix and Revels," said the organiser of the survey, Joe King. "But not one of the shops we spoke to has been able to get hold of a Credit Crunch.

"We think it may have been just made up by shopkeepers to get everyone into their shops."

But Mr Passwinder, head of the Corner Shop Confectioners Association, said they had not invented the Credit Crunch in a bid to drum up trade.

"It's true, we have had lots of people coming into our shops asking for the Credit Crunch," he said, "and customer numbers are up on last year, but we have not invented anything to try to fool people.

"In fact, we are currently too busy anyway preparing for the arrival into our shops of the exciting new Global Meltdown. Ask for it at your nearest corner shop. It will be delicious."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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