Bush authorizes U.S. Treasury Dept. to print a One Trillion-Dollar Bill to pay for Wall Street bailout

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Friday, 19 September 2008

Washington, DC - In another unprecedented moment for the fiscal annals of the United States of America, today Bush authorized the U.S. Treasury department to print a one trillion dollar bill to pay for the Wall Street robber baron bailout. Meanwhile, in hospitals throughout the country, emergency rooms are filling up with numismatists (coin collectors and traders) that have suffered heart attacks upon hearing the news.

"Everyone I know would just love to get their hands on that legal tender," said Mark Sanchez of the American Numismatic Association from a gurney in a hospital waiting room filled with other numismatists, all awaiting admissions the ER. "In fact, ask anyone here. They'll tell you the same."

From beneath oxygen masks, the hospital waiting room let out a collective sigh, quickly followed by choirs of flat lining heart monitors.

"Code blue! Code blue!" said a female voice over the hospital public address system in a calm and professional manner but in an inflection that still lent a sense of urgency to it.

Suddenly, the hospital double doors burst open with a stream of paramedics, nurses and doctors pouring into the waiting room with a half dozen or so crash carts in tow.

"Clear!" said the physician that worked on reviving Sanchez, who was just conscious moments before but now was unresponsive, his monitor flat lining along with the rest.

Slowly Sanchez began to recover, his heart monitor now making a consistent beeping sound, indicating his heart rhythm was returning to normal.

"I'm okay now," said Sanchez from beneath his oxygen mask. "Now, what were we talking about again?"

"Oh no you don't," said the physician to Sanchez in half joking manner. "You're not to talk about that trillion dollar bill again. Doctor's orders."

With that, Sanchez's eyes rolled to the back of his head and his heart monitor flat lined.

"Oh crap! Not again," said the physician as the code blue call once again blared over the hospital public address system, followed by a stream of paramedics, nurses and doctors bursting through the double doors, their crash carts trailing behind them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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