The price of gasoline is skyrocketing thanks to the incompetence of the U.S. President and megalomaniac gas companies (same thing), but George W. Bush has solved our crisis, and the free world can breath easy.
"Ya see, the price of a gallon of gasoline is just going up, up, and away...like Superman, see? And it'll just keep going up if the people of America ignore my brain freeze, I mean, my brain storm," Bush said at a press conference in front of CBS tv studios in New York.
"Y'all are suffering and I feel your pain," Bush said, before Bill Clinton burst out of the crowd and gave Bush a kick in the family jewels, berating the President for stooping to plagerism.
"Y'all feelin' my pain now?" Clinton asked, before ducking back into the crowd.
After Bush caught his breath he told those gathered his great idea.
"Ya see, the problem is yer all drivin' to work and using up all kinds of gasoline that could be better used by NASCAR. So here's how I see it; y'all just have to sign up for one of them there reality programs on the tv!"
Bush explained that by doing do American citizens would be driven around in limousines on 'The Batchelor' , 'The Apprentice', or 'America's Next Top Model', or airliners and foreign taxis on 'The Amazing Race', instead of using up gas in their own cars.
"Or even better, y'all are stuck on an island like in that 'Survivor' show, or that big house with all the cameras watching your every move!" he added.
"You mean 'Big Brother'?" I asked.
"No, man, yer own house! I got ya all wired on closed circuit tv back at the White House! Y'all just stay at home and don't use gasoline, and I'll be entertained watchin' y'all not use my gas and oil!"
It was then that the gathered reporters suggested Bush for a reality program of his own, 'America's Next Unemployed President'.
