Ralph Lauren To Open Shop In Kyiv, Ukraine

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 15 May 2022

image for Ralph Lauren To Open Shop In Kyiv, Ukraine
Style and fashion will go anywhere!

What's a better way to grind the war in Ukraine to a stop than by opening a brand new Ralph Lauren Store in the middle of its capital Kyiv.

This exclusive Kyiv men's shop will also boast a gentleman's barbershop, a nail salon, a Turkish bath, an espresso bar, vegan burgers, and a travel agency for former Russian foot soldiers. Soldiers who recognize a better way to spend a day and the rest of their lives than killing their neighbors.

Hearing this, Putin was pissed! Why hadn't he thought of this first? A few generals will be falling out of windows for their failure.

The Kyiv store manager's motto was: Bring the best to earth's worst hellish place!

Aleppo, Syria, disputed the manager's motto. Women of Afghanistan also raised a protest.

Surrendering Russian soldiers asked how they could afford to pay for such fine clothing and expensive services. The Russian soldiers were assured that the Italians had captured one of Putin's yachts, and it was worth over a billion dollars.

Putin blew a gasket! He had earlier worked a deal with Italy. He offered to supply Italy with wheat from Ukraine forever. And Italy was supposed to protect Putin's yacht forever.

Putin called Italy a traitors nation.

Italy replied, "There are some things in life that are more important than pasta."

The Kyiv manager of the Ralph Lauren store announced, "Yes, the Prosecco before the pasta."

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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