PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – The Philadelphia Police Department has informed the news media that they have arrested one Melvin “Weenie” Buckthorn.
The arresting PPD officer stated that he observed the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile that Buckthorn was driving, was very close to a car driven by Dr. Vince Yappler, who is a local gynecologist.
Dr. Yappler said he looked in his rear view mirror and suddenly saw a gigantic dick.
He added it was the biggest dick that he had ever seen.
The physician became quite alarmed, and reached in his glove compartment, taking out his Glock-9 handgun.
Just then, he saw a flash of red light, and noticed the huge penis had been stopped by a police officer.
Buckthorn told the officer he had not noticed he'd gotten so close to the doctor’s car, since he was busy texting on his cell phone.
He added that he became very nervous because of the small amount of recreational marijuana he had earlier stashed underneath the passenger side.
The officer said he would have let Buckthorn go with a simple warning, but,& after he became a bit belligerent, and threw a package of hot dogs at him, the cuffs came out.
Buckthorn was taken to police headquarters, but was released after posting bond, which had been set at 30 packages of hot dogs.