Wall Street, NYC. Special to The Spoof. At the stock market's opening, Friday morning, following a vote in the House of Representatives to open an impeachment inquiry, the Dow Jones Industrial Average rose instantly over 200 points, and neared an all-time high for the Industrial index.
Analysts believe the market has been pushed higher in recent days because investors are convinced the removal of the President will stimulate an economy that has been retarded by indecisive and/or disabling decisions made by him. Impeachment would bring a more presidential man to the White House, one who would still pursue the beneficial economic policies that the current president has squandered through tariff wars and alienation of America's allies.
"With Pence in the White House, the DJI will hit 30,000 within a month!" predicted one broker.