UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 19 March 2018

image for UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!
Healthy European or US Fatty? The UK has decided which way the wind will blow after Brexit!

The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!!

A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of healthy olive oil, pasta, fruit and veg, salads, and other nourishing products imported from the EU! UK leading supermarkets are emptying their shelves and making them sturdier to carry the extra weight of food products filled with starch, GMO's. sugar, salt, and plenty of splodgy fat, US style!

Jaggedone sent his star CIA (Cockroach Infiltration army) Brexit reporter, Viv Le-France, down to The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH) to find out which US food delicacies will be replacing their healthy EU counterparts and here are just some:

1) GMO, sugar filled popcorn, tons of the stuff, will replace the good old fashion healthy EU grape as an evening snack!
2) Starch ridden US pancakes doused with Maple Syrup will replace German Muesli, non-sugared, for a typical US breakfast treat for fatties!
3) Bread stuffed with sugar and tasting like chemicals will replace the wonderful French Baguette.
4) Healthy EU cheeses will be replaced by reconstituted US cheese that is not cheese, just fat and sugar mixed with E numbers!
5) Organic EU chickens will be replaced by US chemical versions who never saw the light of day and were GMO manipulated without heads!
6) OK, US junk food is already causing obesity all over the planet! Burgers, pizzas, etc. So they don't need replacing because fatties are getting fatter on them anyway, well done the US for sneaking in the EU back door!
7) Healthy EU corn on the cob and soy will be replaced by US GMO versions so Brit pigs, cows and Fatties can be pumped up even more with chemicals!
8) EU beers will be replaced by Budweiser cats piss and other undrinkable beverages!
9) There is no replacement for US sugar-saturated soda drinks (you know them), because they brain-damaged the world many years ago and even UK/EU natural mineral waters can't compete with such filth that everybody seems to love, apart from Jaggedone and his CIA!

So Brexit lovers and UK fatties, you are all in for a lovely US party of goodies that promises to kill you all quicker than you thought, but every dark cloud has its silver lining: US pharmaceutical companies will be flooding the UK health market with their magical cancer curing pills just for you!!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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