New York, NY In a move that surprised no one but Trump's most devoted followers, Trump today announced that his "Trump Dollars" investments would be discontinued and that the Trump Dollar accounts had to be transferred to Trump's campaign fund. Trump stated that this was due to circumstances beyond his control but he thinks it might be a Bernie Sanders plot.
"America just wasn't ready for Trump Dollars," spoke Trump, about the program that would give investors one Trump Dollar for every two U.S. dollars. It had been reported earlier in the week that hundreds of Trump supporters had converted all their money into Trump Dollars, even from the cash in their retirement accounts.
"I apologize to all my supporters who invested their money in the Trump Dollars experiment. I'm sorry they lost all their money, but I'm happy to announce that everyone that lost money will be receiving complimentary Trump Steaks! And I will soon be unveiling a new financial plan, so those that have any money left will get another chance to invest in Trump Industries. So once again, it's a win-win situation!" Trump said, ending the press conference without accepting any questions.