Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

image for Pennsylvania Town, High As Kites Still Think It's 2013, Will Use Big Mushroom, Wild Party To Ring In 2014
Happy New Year!

Evanstown, a town near Philadelphia that's famous for it's fungus will ring in the year, 2014 with a huge mushroom! No, it's not real but it weighs 3000 pounds and will be lowered by a crane and 978 local citizens.

"I got a bad back and a hernia but I have to be in on this", Honus Snell told reporters. "I just hope the thing doesn't ring us into the New Year!", he laughed and then grabbed his back and groaned.

When someone new to town asked what type of rope they would be using, Mayor Fred Carbuncle said, "Rope!! I knew we had forgotten something!!"

The Mayor was then reminded that they were using a chain instead of a rope.

"Oh yeah. We'll also be handing out free candy mushrooms to the kiddies and eat some mushrooms ourselves and that's when the celebration will really start. It was so wild last year that I don't even remember what happened last year after I ate my first mushroom. Some of the locals told me, but I think they were only joking. Also, we lost a few days."

"No reporters allowed of course. Just Native Americans and their mushrooms.

"The stainless steel bell weighs 3,000 pounds. How much does the clapper weigh?"

"Clapper! Doggone it, I knew we were forgetting something!"

"Boss! According to the TV, 2014 is already here!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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