Billionaire Claims He Is Getting Stupider

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Thursday, 27 February 2014

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Tycoon Peter Nygard In 6 Years Time

A billionaire fashion designer says scientists have found a way for him to spend a lot of money on something totally impossible and ridiculous.

Bahamas resident Peter Nygard says he is receiving stem cell therapy and that a study from the University of Miami suggests he is getting younger, though of course, he isn't. "They are looking at me, and thinking this guy is a complete idiot. Let's keep on milking his money, let him squander his cash in an fruitless and pointless exercise in avoiding death and maintaining his vanity," the 70-year-old says.

He adds: "I am taking perhaps more crazy pills than anybody else in the world. I have been doing it for four years now, so I am sort of a testimonial that these scientists are really great at ripping me off."

"I expect in 10 years time I will be 60 again," beamed the deluded 70 year old tycoon, "though when I get back to 20 I will stop, probably because I will be broke by then."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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