Car Dealer Sues Rival Dealership For Massive Bird Crap!

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 10 February 2014

image for Car Dealer Sues Rival Dealership For Massive Bird Crap!
Some Crows Joined the Birds

A car dealership in Maryville, Tennessee is suing a rival car dealer for $500,000 in lost income and auto damage as well as causing the workers there to risk their lives by working and the clean-up details.

Hardin's GMC and Hyundai Auto Dealership called police Monday morning after coming to work and finding birdshit all over the lot and the cars at his dealership.

"It was sickening", stated Larry Elmore an employee. "It looked like it had snowed the night before."

Someone had seen the number of blackbirds in the area and, while the lot was closed Sunday evening, threw several big bags of bird seed onto the lot. It was soon covered with blackbirds.

"They waited till late in the day and the birds must have eaten all night", stated owner George Hatcher. "We have autos that have scratches, paint ruined in some cases, the pavement slicked down and we will have to remove the cars one at a time to clean it. Then we will have to get in some professionals to see how to clean up our buildings and lot. I really don't think $500,000 will do it."

Several employees simply stated that they would not help.

"Blackbirds can give you a fatal disease", stated another employee. "I'll be careful and put on a lot of old clothes and drive some cars off the lot but Mr. hatcher will have to get some people in here with those spacesuits on to do the rest."

At last report, Lee's Ford and Toyota have denied the whole thing.

"This is something a bunch of teenagers would think is funny. Or maybe he made some people mad by selling them a lemon. But we had nothing to do with it", stated owner Lowell Ownby.

Both owners have already talked to the local Sheriff. So we will have to wait and see what he finds out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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