Political Facebook - Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, & John Boehner

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 27 January 2012

Political Facebook

Ron Paul: Okay Mitt, so when are you and Captain Kangaroo Gingrich gonna come on down to Texas and take me up on my offer of that 25-mile bike ride?
9:03 a.m.

Mitt Romney: Ron, I have no plans of doing such a thing. And besides I do not even own a bike.
9:07 a.m.

Ron Paul: That's not a problem Mitty old boy. You can use my wife's bike. It's pink but hell, I'm pretty sure that you're quite secure in your manhood huh?
9:13 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Good morning gentlemen. And Ron, I have asked you not to refer to me as Captain Kangaroo, it is liable to stick.
9:19 a.m.

Mitt Romney: It's too late Captain. It already has.
9:24 a.m.

Ron Paul: Hey, Gingrich, I really think that it's high time that you grew some and stop being such a damn wuss. I swear you're getting to sound more and more like that crybaby John Boehner everyday.
9:28 a.m.

John Boehner: And Mr. Paul, you're sounding more and more like Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" Trump.
9:32 a.m.

Ron Paul: Now, now Johnny - sonny boy is that any way for a crybaby to be talking. Shouldn't you be saying stuff like waaah, goo-goo, ga-ga, and mommy I need to go potty?
9:37 a.m.

John Boehner: Ron why are you [SOBBING] so darn mean? Can't you see that I have a crying condition [SOBBING] and that it's being treated for with medicines, exercises, diet, and hypnotism?
9:43 a.m.

Newt Gingrich: Oh come off it Granny Teardrops. Why don't you just get back to your speaker of the house job. Nobody wants to listen to a whining little twit like you.
9:50 a.m.

Mitt Romney: Yeah Boehner. Nancy Pelosi was right. She does have some bigger ones than you do.
9:54 a.m.

President Obama: Mornin' y'all. Now that's what I be talkin' about. Y'all keep it up. And let me be clear on this. You boys just keep on kickin' each other in y'alls pee-pees and pretty soon y'all will all turn into male versions of Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann and Sarah "Reindeer Ovaries" Palin. Second term - here I come.
9:58 a.m.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more