World financial markets have had a Global Warning, far worse than Global Warming as it affects the developed world much more than the less developed.
Getting ready for a Double Dip in the English Channel George Osborne's scrimpy trunks slipped to reveal the truly atrocious state of his Blast off position for the economy.
Supporters persuaded the Chancellor to delay his swim to France until the weather in Europe was better - however it is the hurricane coming from the United States that is upsetting the market.
'We must avoid panic' said Osborne as he trembled on leaving the cold waters of the Channel 'stay indoors and you will not need to go to the market.'
This did not help the market that was crashing through the 5000 barrier in a slide that would make Alton Towers jealous.
But all is well! The Governor of the Bank of England has more money for everyone - well not everyone, but the Banks might get a few trillion.
Political commentator Ponsonby Twit commented: 'There is no need to panic! I already have all my savings in Syria. NO, not there! Help me somebody.'
