Written by j.w.

Thursday, 15 September 2011

image for UBS Trader 'steals over a billion pounds'
I had to buy a 5 course meal

The City has been plunged into the deep end by trader Queer Adboil's alleged fraud resulting in a loss of well over a billion pounds for Swizz Bank UBS - Underhand Bank of Slime.

Adboil has denied all the charges against him and has suggested he is being blamed because someone at UBS cannot add properly.

Bank officials at UBS were tight lipped. However when I put my hand in my pocket and withdrew a £50 note my cashier relaxed, testing my note was genuine before deciding to make a statement.

'We have no comment' was all she said. Knowing Spoof readers would not be pleased with such a standard reply I waved another £50 note around and got a lovely smile from the fabulous beauty behind the counter.

'See you after business, sweetheart' she said as she tested my second note.

My investment has given me high dividends and I can reveal that the beautiful girl, Quincy, was one of Queer Adboil's former lovers. She was annoyed when he eyed a passing backside so she was now willing to spill the beans - after a five course meal which contained no beans at all. 'Swizz Banks are notorious for their hidden assets' she told me 'Queer has been framed.'

It was then after our fifth bottle of champagne that Quincy told me UBS was covered in Slime and would soon schlip up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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