Dodge-Chrysler lands $1.6 billion contract to build military SUV's - for China!

Written by miadolfan13

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

image for Dodge-Chrysler lands $1.6 billion contract to build military SUV's - for China!
93 MPG engine

Chicago, IL---Chrysler announced today that it's award winning manufacturer of sport utility vehicles, Dodge, is going to be building heavy duty, military versions of the Durango for the Chinese military.

In a move to bolster the fledgling Dodge line, Chrysler is going against the current national trend to boost the American economy and will open six new plants in Beijing next spring. While the move may be surprising to some, according to industry experts, it was totally expected and highly anticipated for several months. "The American economy is not what it used to be and for us to survive, we need to expand our horizons", said CEO James McKnight. He continued, "While we do feel sorrow for the demise of the auto industry in the United States, we recognize the tremendous potential for our products in the rising country of China. At the end of the day, I have to hedge bets and try to come down on the winning side."

The design plans for the Chinese military version of the Durango have not been released, but The Red Invasion has learned some interesting plans. The Durango will be built with bullet proof tires capable of resisting the highest bullet cartridge currently used by the US military and will feature a 360 horsepower V8 engine. The most startling feature of the highly secretive engine is its ability to operate at full capacity with an amazing 93 miles per gallon fuel efficiency. When asked about the never heard before achievement, McKnight offered this response: "The American people have been brainwashed into believing the auto industry is incapable of building highly efficient gasoline engines. For years, my design crew has been developing plans to build engines with a minimum of 85 miles per gallon fuel useage, but it was the central government which refused to allow its release. When the congress passed a 20% fuel tax, the income generated by the fuel sales was enormous and could not be given up. The Chinese government demanded highly efficient fuel engines and required we continue to develop new engines into the new decade. We are very pleased with their requests."

Internal documents released this afternoon by Wikileaks confirms the much speculated beliefs of the American government holding back the auto industry. President Barack Obama plans to give a speech on the topic sometime in the winter.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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