Empty cups: An open letter to the film industry regarding the depiction of coffee and other hot beverages
Dear Hollywood, dear illustrious dreamers of the American fantasy, dear, dear colleagues in art, There’s something we need to discuss. Coffee. And when I say “coffee” I mean any hot beverage that comes in a disposable paper cup with a plastic l…
Read full storyDonald Trump announces he’s really Robert Redford — MAGA people buy it
Former White House resident, twice impeached, twice indicted, accused sex offender, announced on his social media platform (whatever it’s called) that he is really Robert Redford in disguise, and if you vote for him, and get him back into the White H…
Read full storyLeBron James opens up LeBron's chicken house diner
The Los Angeles Post Gazette Newspaper has just put out that Los Angeles Lakers super star LeBron James has just opened up LeBron's Chicken House Diner in Tarzana, California. Reporter Fargo Windmill spoke with James, who said that owning his own…
Read full storySteamy texts from hot, sexy Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders
Sports Balls Illustrated Daily senior writer Dottie Bazooka has just compiled a list of texts that came from the sexy mouths of several of Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. The average age of a Cowboys cheerleader is 24, the average height is…
Read full storyBritney Spears' reusable tampons "flood the market"
Walmart is proud to announce that they are the first retail chain in the USA to carry the new, amazing Britney Spears Reusable Tampons. According to New Products Institute spokeswoman Paula Muskogee, the new reusable tampons are the greatest thing…
Read full storyAnson Mount and Taylor Hicks open up a gunshop in Amarillo
The most popular TV cowboy star on cable television, Anson Mount star of "Hell On Wheels," and his girlfriend Taylor Swift, have just opened up The Desperado Gunshop in downtown Amarillo, Texas. The shop sells everything from hollow point bullets…
Read full storyA Kentucky rabbi is arrested after DEA agents find 38 gallons of moonshine in his truck
A rabbi in Kentucky has been arrested by agents with the DEA. A spokesperson for the DEA stated that Rabbi Myron Myronowitz III, 43, was caught in a back holler outside of the town of Woodchuck Hormones, Kentucky. Rabbi Myron's 2020 Toyota Reno Ro…
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