Mob Boss In The White House?
Mob boss in the White House? No, not Joe Biden, but the loser Biden booted out of the White House: Donald Trump. Trump, who is attempting to emulate pal Vladimir Putin (a guy getting his nuts squashed by a hammer called Ukraine), is back to his lock…
Read full storyAngelina Looking Fabulous in Kyiv!
Angelina Jolie was recently spotted in Kyiv, Ukraine, being an ambassador for refugees. (Though why she was in Ukraine cannot be answered since refugees, by their definition, have all left since they were trying to get out of, not into, a war-tor…
Read full storyHollywood Virginia Courtroom Says ... We Love You Johnny!
Since Fairfax County, Virginia, doesn’t get a lot of high-profile celebrity trials, the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial has lent a bit of Hollywood to the East Coast. During the half-time recess of the trial, Lady Gaga came in and sang a few songs…
Read full storyRon DeSantis Working Out at the Don't Say Gay Gym
I tried a new gym the other day and saw Ron DeSantis on the bench press. I went up and asked if he was a member, and after staring at my crotch for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Yeah, I pump. I pump hard. See my lats and delts and pecs? T…
Read full storyOther Ministries Joe Is Considering
Ministry of Awesomeness Ministry of Doubleplusungood Ministry of Ministry (ROCK ON!) Ministry of We’re Not Spying On You We Swear Ministry of Hollywood Stars Are Better Than You Ministry of Keepin’ It Real Ministry of Fuck All Mi…
Read full storySharon Osbourne Files For Divorce From Her Rockin' Rickety Roller Husband Ozzy Osbourne
MALIBU BEACH - (Satire News) - The singer known as "The Prince of Darkness" has just received divorce papers from his wife of 40 years, Sharon "The Boss" Osbourne. Ozzy Osbourne was born Johnny Mikey Billy Osbourne in England 73 years ago, making…
Read full storyThe St. Louis Cardinals and The New York Mets Brawl After a Mets Batter is Hit in The Head With Sunflower Seeds
ST. LOUIS - (Sports Satire) - The New York Mets organization has filed a written complaint stating three different Cardinal pitchers are purposely throwing sunflower seed-laden balls at opposing batters. Sports Territory Magazine writer Tango Bris…
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