Revolving Fire Hydrants In NYC Causing Dogs To Fall Into Their Own Urine
BILLINGSGATE POST: When Mayor De Blasio ordered City Park Superintendent, Detrick "Dirty Tricks" Detwiler, to replace all of the old fire hydrants along Fifth Avenue and Central Park, he had no idea of the uproar this would cause. Because he though...
Read full storyUK government admits that "Brexit plan fag packet" is missing
In an astonishing admission of incompetence and poor planning, Prime Minister Theresa May has revealed that the cigarette packet on which Brexit plans were written has been missing for nearly two years. The empty box of Marlboro Lights was probabl...
Read full storyThe day I met 'The Thing' was almost my last day on Earth!
For a brief few seconds right after I made her acquaintance, I felt sorry for The Thing. She was a slimy, sordid, scabrous mass of anti-femininity, looking to be more of the species of giant lethal reptile - akin to a Gila monster, or perhaps, some ultra-hairy, horrid-looking, primitive primate - than a female, homo-sapient ape. The Thing moved on me rather slowly and before I knew it, she had...
Read full storyDog Was Barking Up The Wrong Tree
A dog which had chased a cat over an area of wasteland and into a wooded area where it stood barking for more than ten minutes at a place it thought the cat was hiding, was barking up the wrong tree. The cat, a scrawny ginger-colored beast, had al...
Read full storyMan's Wife-To-Be Went Outside For Cigarette
A man's wedding day was laid to waste when his bride-to-be told him she 'just' needed to "pop outside for a cigarette", and was never seen again. Colin 'D' was due at Bournemouth Registry Office at 11am to tie the knot with his intended, whose nam...
Read full storyMan Delayed Flight By Taking A Dump
Airline passengers at Manchester's Ringway airport were in uproar yesterday evening, after a flight was delayed when another one of the passengers was forced to visit the lavatory at the Gate before boarding. The flight, from Manchester to Bangkok...
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