Used Condom Found In Christmas Cracker
There was a less-than-festive surprise in store for one man and his girlfriend on Christmas Day, when they pulled a cracker, and out popped a condom - that had already been used! Mick Warble and his fiancé, Donna Jackson, had opened their presents...
Read full storyModern-Day Scrooge: "Enjoy Your Last Christmas, Suckers!"
BOSTON, MA, CHRISTMAS DAY -- Archibald C. Reilly III, born to a wealthy North Carolina family of tobacco barons in 1932, has spent his eighty-six years on this Earth with the single-minded purpose of accruing a vast amount of wealth. Through a long s...
Read full storyPresident Trump Given Grilling During Kids' Xmas Phone-in
US President Donald Trump got more than he bargained for this morning, when a Christmas Day phone-in with young children didn't exactly go according to plan. Trump and his wife, Melania, were sat in easy chairs in the State Dining Room at the Whit...
Read full storyEPA Protects Endangered "Milpitas Gopher"
Washington, D.C. Andrew Wheeler, acting head of the U S Environmental Protection Agency, announced today that the controversial but nearly extinct Milpitas Gopher has been added to the endangered species list. The listing drew blistering objections f...
Read full storyA celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)
Actor Tom Banks, whose net worth is estimated at $350 million, give or take a million, played Santa Claus at an N-n-Out Boogers in Fontana, Californicate, treating his fans to a free lunch. “Order anything you want,” he told his devotees. “Money i...
Read full storyProudly Presenting Present Presidential and Pundit Political Poetry
Marie Butina, a Russian lass who loves guns also happens to have a nice set of buns. So she came to America to use her bootie, to catch a live one who thought her a cutie. She likened herself to a Soviet NRA and a modern day Calamity Jane. A...
Read full storyGod Has Had Enough! It's The End Of The World!
After further volcanic eruptions at Krakatoa, and Monday's 'unrest' at Mount Etna in Sicily, it's been confirmed that God has had just about as much as he can stand, as has decided to put a stop to it all, with the End of the World. Last week's un...
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