Man who declared knife "fake weapon" shocked that it could still stab him.
Following in the now popular trend of calling things you don't like "fake" to discredit them, Seattle Convenient Store Clerk, Fred Nunchenhausen declared the knife of a would be robber fake during an armed robbery. Although, Mr. Nunchenhausen was ab...
Read full storyTerrorist Too Depressed to Blow Himself Up, Considers Therapy or Nonviolent Suicide, if He can Find the Pills
London. A terrorist visiting London while reconsidering his career options stopped by and talked to a local radio host. Apparently, he's suffering from a general loss of interest in blowing himself up or other people up, or shooting, stabbing, bludge...
Read full storyNew NBC series 2020: Celebrity Cellmate...Tweets from Butner!
The Washington Post is reporting this morning that NBC is planning a new Celebrity series for 2020. Calling it: Celebrity Cellmate, the TV series will be filmed at the federal penitentiary in Butner, North Carolina. Details of the program are b...
Read full story'D-List' Stars Seek An Expanded Celebrity Rating System
'D-List' celebrities gathered in Hollywood yesterday to support the broadening of the Celebrity Rating System by having a '+' or '-' following their designated category to further pinpoint their level of intelligence, talent and fame. And leadin...
Read full storyAmerican Corporations Neutralize The North Korean Nuclear Threat
Right when the world firmly believed that North Korea would decimate the planet by starting World War III, Kim Jong-un (left) completely abandoned his nuclear program yesterday when a handful of U.S. companies offered him an envious array of bargains...
Read full storyA New President Fumbles The Jargon Of His Office
President Trump is having difficulty learning the terminology associated with his office, proven when he recently said, "I could get the best marble for any floor amendment, 'marking up a bill' would depend upon my satisfaction of the work and I woul...
Read full storyPuerto Ricans disavow recalcitrant Trump.com™ - Have invited Obama to return as their President
Given the Katrina like response to the utter devastation of their island and the seeming indifference from the Whitehouse, Puerto Ricans have disavowed Trump.com™ as impotent and have invited Obama to return as their President. There does se...
Read full storySoft, silky "bogpaper" causes tree huggers to see "Red!"
Wiping one's rear end these days with, soft, luxury "bogpaper" seems to be not quite as harmless as it seems, say tree huggers! A UK luxury bogpaper manufacturing company has been accused by tree huggers of destroying a pristine forest is Sweden s...
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