Parents Will Do Anything They Can To Discourage Son From Becoming A Lawyer
Fearing their son Darren would someday wear a suit, work long and arduous hours, make an obscene amount of money, as well as enemies, all while toting around a briefcase full of briefs, Mr. and Mrs. Parrot are doing everything in their power to disc...
Read full storyScientists Predict 15.5 Days Without Sunlight in December
Ed, a physicist at Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, claims he has found indisputable evidence for climate change. "The math is so clear that it can't be questioned. In December, we will have 15.5 total days of darkness. We must ma...
Read full storyElizabeth Floss Reveals Scamatologists Required to Use the F Bomb and Other Foul Language
Hollyweed, CA Emmy winner Elizabeth Floss, who is a member of the Cherch of Scamatology, revealed that it is a requirement that all True Believers of the Xenu Story must use at, the minimun, at least one curse word per fifty extemporaneous words spok...
Read full storyNew Sunscreen Protects You From Harmful Stingrays
You remember Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter? He was snorkeling in chest deep water when he got stung through the heart by a maniacal and emotionally disturbed stingray and died. Well from now on you don't have to fear dangerously deranged stingr...
Read full storyMcCain 'No' Vote Explained; Brainwashed as POW
Speaking on condition of anonymity, CIA psychiatrists speculated that John McCain's decision to vote 'no' on the Republican Graham/Cassidy health bill was the result of subtle brainwashing during his extended confinement as a prisoner of war in North...
Read full storyUK sex mad pair order "extra hot and spicy pizza toppings" over and on the counter!
A global pizza fast food joints are becoming popular for gaga pairs hoping for a quickie over the counter while they wait for their hot, spicy, crispy treat with all kinds of melted cheesy toppings! The smell of the pizzas, especially those laced...
Read full storyCollege Student Kicked Out for Not Being Black Enough
New York City, NY - A student was kicked out of his college this week for not being black enough. The former student checked the "Black" box on his college application and was counted as a minority when he was accepted. Once enrolled, the administra...
Read full storyNationally Known Writer Admits He's been Lying, that Most of his Lies for FAKE NEWS were in Fact "Pretty Much True"
Portland. A famous writer who's been engaged in fake news for the last three weeks now admits his stories were either (1) mostly true or (2) could be true if the circumstances fell into line. Ed Shnenneren, the writer, said, "I've be...
Read full storyPolitical Twisties
In the latest twist to what some are calling a political crisis but others recognise as insanity two world leaders have started calling each other names. In the grand scheme of things Trump and UN aren't going to remembered as being the foremost political minds of their generation. To be fair they'll be lucky to be remembered as having minds if they carry on the way they are. Donald Trump has...
Read full storyFake News
Having received dozens of emails over the last few weeks (most asking us if we have any intention of paying the legal costs to a law suit) asking if we understand this whole "fake news" thing. Don't worry fair readers we do. So here is a quick li...
Read full storyUK supermarket shoppers are sick of being called "Darling" and prefer "Bitch!"
A leading UK supermarket has ordered its cash till operators to stop calling punters, darling, sweetheart, luv, or anything else that makes modern day shopper's blood cringe! Back in the old days of the "Old Corner Shop" these expressions were acc...
Read full storyTrump Signs Executive Order Banning Hurricanes and Earthquakes
Washington, DC "I got tired of all these disasters upstaging me and getting all the press. It was time SOMEBODY stood up and did something about all these hurricanes and earthquakes EVERY YEAR! Well, now it will be illegal for that to happen. TAKE TH...
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