Neighbor's Dog Files Harassment Complaint Against Harvey Weinstein
New charges in the Harvey Weinstein case show that Weinstein's neighbor's poodle, Rex, has filed a harassment suit against the former movie mogul. The poodle is alleging that Weinstein forced his way through a hedge separating the two properties a...
Read full storyGod Sorry for Not Noticing Gunman Creeping Around Church
In a rare public appearance, God has apologized for not noticing Devin Patrick Kelley creeping up to the church armed with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle. God says he was distracted by all the lovely prayers coming from inside the church. "The par...
Read full story18 month-old child prodigy artist destroys mum's expensive carpet!
A North-Lanarkshire, 18-old month toddler, destined to become a famous painter, has caused his mum some grief after deciding to paint her carpet instead of a canvas mum gave him to practice with! The toddler, still in his nappies, showed an aptitu...
Read full storyCorker, Trump Dispute Leads to a Fruitful Discussion about the Merits of Adult Undergarments
Washington, DC. Tensions are running high--once again--between Capitol Hill and 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. According to multiple reports, corroborated by several sources close to Capitol Hill and Pennsylvania Avenue, and documented by video and au...
Read full story"Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving
Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...
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