Breaking: Trump denies "Fire & Fury" remarks in wild rant!
CNN is reporting this afternoon that President Trump has just gone on a wild rant in a press conference denying recorded remarks he made regarding Korea and Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell! The video shows Trump, obviously distressed, shout...
Read full storyCar manufacturers recommend milking your vehicle three times a week
A consortium of car makers, including Soduko, Chingchong and Chuffwrench have released a statement saying that all their cars should be milked three times a week as a minimum, or else they may leak or even explode. It follows a ten-car drowning on...
Read full storyWhen the FBI Comes Knocking, It's Time to Get Your Party Rocking
Inside the Government.… A surprise FBI raid on the home of a former Trump advisor has the Beltway in a panic. The insiders are wondering…What if I'm next? In fact there's no need to worry. As long as you follow the suggestions offered here, you ca...
Read full storyJared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr. Accused of Colluding With North Korea's Kim Jong-Un
Washington, DC Ivanka Trump's husband Jared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr. were accused by the FBI, U.S. Congress, and CNN of colluding with North Korea's Kim Jong-Un to trade top-grade vodka to him for his black-market cocaine, methamphetamine, Ecsta...
Read full storyTrump and Kim Jong-Un Compare Dick Sizes
In a contest guaranteed to have no winners, Trump challenged North Korea with fire and fury, which North Korea's Kim Jong-Un followed up with references as to how close North Korea is to Guam. Guam has been put on Red Alert, while Trump's consulta...
Read full storyMan has Neighbor Arrested: Cites Too Much Cable News Watching as Reason
Portland. A local man admitted to several news organizations that he had called the police on his next-door neighbor for allegedly "watching too much cable news." Breaking down, sobbing, a clearly distraught Mr. Ned Vuntler said, "I just couldn't tak...
Read full storyOnline Dating Turns into a Family Affair, Leads to Second Date
Portland. In an attempt to jump-start his dating life, Butch Putts, a freshman at the local college, registered his profile with an online dating site, Last Best Hope Dating, Inc. LBHD is currently offering a 20% discount for first-time daters and a 95% discount for returning daters, who've lost all hope but are willing to give it another try. "At 95% off, what do I have to lose but a little...
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