Why is Trump Not in Alaska Voter Pamphlet?
Alaskan voters will not get information about Donald Trump in their voter pamphlets though his name will be on the ballot. Voters won't get informed about Gary Johnson either. Both campaigns missed the August 30th deadline for submitting mater...
Read full storyTrump Says Science is Voodoo and Hillary Will Use It to Rig Election
Hell, MI Trump took another opportunity to chastise the American election system as he proclaimed that the election would be rigged by Hillary. Trump began by explaining that he knows that Science is just Voodoo. "I am very rich and I bought the...
Read full storyNorth Korea's DICtator, Kim Jong-Un, In Hiding After Seventh Missile in a Row Explodes on the Launching Pad
Pynongyang, North Korea Although it seems like he would get used to it, Kim Jong-Un's most recent missile once again exploded on the launching pad, sending the rotund dictator into a rage. "Kim Jong-Un was last seen jumping up and down and orderi...
Read full storyCalifornia Offers "You're Fired!" Voting Method
Sacramento, Calif - The California State Assembly approved a controversial new voting system late Monday night, now known as the "You're Fired!" voting method. "It's so easy and convenient," explained Democratic Chairperson Amy Thumbsdown. "You c...
Read full storyTrump's New Health Plan Provides Emergency Aid to Flat-Chested Chicks
NEW YORK - Donald Trump's campaign today issued a press release detailing a new attempt to sway women voters and appeal to their healthcare concerns. Trump has proposed a national healthcare program which provides free, no-waiting, same-day brea...
Read full storyTrump Says He Did Not Molest the Women Who Accuse Him-Says They Are too Ugly for Him
Millville, IA Trump, still on the campaign trail, denied allegations by over a dozen women that he sexually harassed and/or assaulted them. "Have you seen these women?" asked Trump. "It would be hard to get a blind man to assault them. Now, look a...
Read full storyMelania Trump Calls Donald A "Boy"
Melania Trump defended her husband to CNN's Anderson Cooper against sexual assault charges saying, "It's just boy talk." "When I'm at home I feel like I have two boys there, Junior and Barron, age 10." Ms. Trump continued, "Actually, sometimes...
Read full storyHordes of Undead Expected to Vote in November
Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump called it first. At a campaign rally in Green Bay, Wisconsin he told the crowd he predicts "1.8 million deceased individuals" will vote for "somebody else" in the presidential election. Many have mis...
Read full storyMajor Companies Consider Revision Of Recorded Messages For Customers Waiting For A Call To Be Answered
A recent survey of its members by the UK consumer group, Which?, has identified the most annoying elements of recorded messages played to customers who are waiting for their calls to be answered. The most irritating phrase contains a reassurance t...
Read full storyTrump Confesses: "It was all a hoax."
In an unprecedented TV interview on Fox News this morning, Donald J. Trump shocked the nation by confessing that for the past 18 months he has been a "Democrat in wolf's clothing". As the audience sat in stunned silence, he admitted that he was worki...
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