Trump Groupie Trucks Clog up Interstate

Funny story: Trump Groupie Trucks Clog up Interstate

Drivers looking for ways to avoid traffic jams should take note of the GOP presidential nominee's campaign schedule. According to his transportation manager, Joe the Plumber, the best time to avoid traffic is the day before his rally starts. "Mov...

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Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Funny story: Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Everest Outfitters, known for their extreme weather gear, introduced a new product this week. Most of their products protect against excessive cold, wet, wind, and heat. Everest became the first company to identify and market to an increasingly pe...

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Maraschino Cherries: How They're Made Will Shock You

Funny story: Maraschino Cherries: How They're Made Will Shock You

So, if you're a bar-geek you may already know that the bright red cherries starring in a Shirley Temple drink are not the real deal. The original maraschino cherries came from Croatia. They are made with whole Marasca cherries preserved in the liqueur made from them. These cherries still exist and you may run into one at an "artisan" bar. They are dark red, almost black. The U.S. developed...

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American Psychological Association Announces Armageddon: Election Stress Disorder

Funny story: American Psychological Association Announces Armageddon: Election Stress Disorder

WASHINGTON - I don't think any American has been able to escape the train wreck that has become our presidential election cycle. It's hard to look away. Even harder to avoid. It has dominated virtually every fiber of American society - from the obses...

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University of Perception Management releases new studies on Election Trash and State of the Onion

Funny story: University of Perception Management releases new studies on Election Trash and State of the Onion

The University of Perception Management has just released results of a massive study on "the state of smoke and trash" in the 2016 election. UPM originated in 2003 when the Bush administration demonized and invaded Iraq via claims of non-existent...

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I am Hillary's Drug Dealer

Funny story: I am Hillary's Drug Dealer

To the Editor: I am embarrassed to admit it, and I do so anonymously. I am Hillary Clinton's drug dealer. It is embarrassing not because I am a drug dealer, I am proud of my profession. I have an easy work day, flexible hours, I meet interesting people, there is a whole danger element to my job and my friends think I am cool. But why can't I get cool accounts, like Jay Z or Drake or J...

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Missing cell-tower found in Rockefeller center

Funny story: Missing cell-tower found in Rockefeller center

"I always had four bars and a clear line" said a distraught Patsy Lang standing in front of what was a cell tower that stood on her land for four years until it mysteriously disappeared "now I got no bars and I had to buy me a five-thousand-foot exte...

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Bill Clinton, Donald Trump Caught in Gay Affair

Funny story: Bill Clinton, Donald Trump Caught in Gay Affair

Reports have just surfaced of a gay affair between Donald Trump and Bill Clinton Apparently, The Donald grabs more than just pussies. "Yes", confirmed Trump, "my tie has tested positive for Bill's DNA. Really, though, I just wanted to get the st...

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