Historians Hide Stash in Ancient Tomb

An ancient Chinese tomb brought to the U.S. for study turns out to be a drug mule. The two historians credited with finding the tomb were convicted of marijuana possession with intent to distribute. According to police evidence the researchers brough...

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Obama Orders Immediate Nuclear Disarmament "Just in Case"

Funny story: Obama Orders Immediate Nuclear Disarmament "Just in Case"

Washington, DC-Saying that the decision was "safest for the whole word", President Obama has issued an executive order calling for the immediate and complete disarmament of all nuclear weapons in the United States. At a press conference on Friday, th...

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Killer Sock Puppets

Funny story: Killer Sock Puppets

The "Killer Clown" craze that has been sweeping the nation (and led BATTL news to assault a children's entertainer this week) may not be the only costumed terror we have to worry about. Sightings of deranged sock puppets terrorising seaside commu...

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Spoof Writers Union Endorses Trump

Funny story: Spoof Writers Union Endorses Trump

Washington, DC - The Union of American Secret Spoofwriters, known as U ASS, officially endorsed Donald J. Trump for President. U ASS, which claims to be "blind" when it comes to politics, made the surprise announcement in the midst of Trump's public groping scandal. "We ridicule everyone," said Anthony Weiner, U ASS's newly hired CEO, who for years has targeted vulnerable women on social media...

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Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel

Funny story: Allegations Emerge That During A Water Landing of A Jet, Trump Asked Beauty Contestant if He Could Use Her Ass "As A Flotation Device." Stewardess Claims Also To Have Overhead Trump Saying His Cock Would Make A Good Snorkel

Washington DC - While Hillary Clinton's campaign is subject to the "drip, drip, drip" of embarrassing emails, Republican nominee Donald Trump's Presidential Campaign is facing a deluge of stories about past sexual conduct that has taken a serious tol...

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