Jessica Finished Hill
One of Britain's all time great athletes has retired from her sport. Hetaopopolete Jessica Ennis Hill has walked away from her sport at the age of 31 probably saying something like "the real gold medal is family". Well probably. We don't know fo...
Read full storyThe Wired Street Urinal - an editorial
On Wednesday, Republican nominee for President, Donald J. Trump proclaimed he is the messiah. Addressing a crowd of cerebrally anesthetized souls in a state of rapture in West Palm Beach Florida, Trump demonstrated his capacity to mesmerize with a br...
Read full storyThe Donald Unchained & Unglued
On Tuesday, Republican nominee for President, Donald J. Trump announced, "Like Marcus Garvey, I have thrown off the shackles! After running a campaign marked by a concerted effort to seek national unity, racial and ethnic harmony, and party cohesion,...
Read full storyWHEN I GROW UP
When I grow up I'm gonna be rich and powerful, and then you'll see, I'll get back at all of you. (Sniff). I'm gonna have lawyers and I'll sue all of you and hurt you real bad. You'll be sorry. (Sniff) Some day I'm gonna grow up and I'm gonna be president, and then you'll be sorry. When I become president I'm gonna have all of you thrown in jail. (Sniff) I'm gonna be the most popular guy and I'...
Read full storyAmericans are encouraged to hibernate for four years, and hope for better presidential options in 2020.
After a cacophony of groans, complaints and outright blubbering over the terrible options the political process has offered up to be the next president experts are now suggesting that everybody should just take a long nap and hope that there are bett...
Read full story"Stratfords' Olympic Athletics Stadium to be rebranded as THE ANTS NEST!" states the Duchess of Knightsbridge.
THE ANTS NEST, Stratford, LONDON: In developments that have even taken the footballing world by surprise, Ms Karen Brady, known by her world wide name as the Duchess of Knightsbridge, has revealed a new rebranding development! "Stratfords' Olympi...
Read full storyHillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters
In the final run-up to the US presidential elections, Hillary Clinton is hoping to ensure victory by winning-over the one demographic group that Donald Trump has yet failed to insult or alienate. That group consists of white American men without a...
Read full storyNew Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens
Outer Space In retraction of a news flash yesterday about a new planet in our Solar System discovered, astronomers sheepishly admitted that the planet they had discovered and named "New Kid on the Block" after the astronomer's favorite childhood ban...
Read full storyNew Olympic Sports Announced--Quidditch is Not on the List But Drone Flying Is
Geneva, Switzerland The International Olympic Committee announced the result of weeks of meetings-the new events that will be in the Olympics from now on. In the Summer Olympics, the Tug of War, which used to be in the Olympics during the 1900s t...
Read full storyTrump Outlines Timeline for After He is Elected President
Salt Lick, WS Trump, still on the campaign trail until his next debate, outlined his future plans for the planet after he takes over the Presidency. He gave the only reporter that showed up for his latest press conference an exclusive interview. "...
Read full story