After a cacophony of groans, complaints and outright blubbering over the terrible options the political process has offered up to be the next president experts are now suggesting that everybody should just take a long nap and hope that there are better options when they wake up.
Doctor William Charles Dement, author of The Stanford Sleep Book has suggested a long, multi-year communal nap might be just what the country needs.
"In the current political climate, people all over the country are losing a lot of sleep over what truly amounts to a bunch of nonsense."
The famous sleep doctor went on to explain, "This concept of four years of rest would help those overanxious individuals catch back up on all the sleep they have been deprived of due to an unnecessary focus on issues that have no barring on their day to day lives."
The doctor also expressed what a nice break it would be for your average person not to have to listen to politicos go on ridiculously about how the other party is destroying the country, and the opposing candidate would bring about Armageddon. "It would be nice for all those fanatics to shut up, yes."
Centrist politico Mike Allen agreed with Doctor Dement's evaluation, but had more political reasons for the same conclusion. "I do believe that the current offerings appear to be out of touch with what the average American would want in a president."
Allen went on to express his displeasure with the current presidential offerings supplied by the separate political parties, "I don't even think it's worth my time to explain why Donald Trump is a poor candidate for the presidency," Allen stated. "If I have to elaborate, then you are already too far gone mentally, and I suggest you stock up on shotguns and canned goods. Although, if you are a Trump supporter that's probably part of your regular routine anyway, so carry on as usual, I guess.
In terms of Hillary Clinton, Allen was slightly less harsh, but hardly enthusiastic. "Mrs. Clinton may be the most qualified candidate to ever run for president, but in the current political climate you need to ask yourself if that is a good thing or a bad thing." Mr. Allen went on to explain his point, "if you have the most experience in an arena that has proven itself almost completely useless, self-serving and clearly out of touch and unconcerned with its primary intended purpose what are the chances that you are going to do anything about it?" His point being, that with politics being a completely gridlocked morass of two competing parties using each other as a scapegoat to accomplish very little, having the ultimate insider as the president is unlikely to help matters at all.
Mike Allen was also surprisingly harsh on everyone's favorite dark horse candidate, Gary Johnson, "Now, the guy clearly has some experience running a government, but you need to show at least a little bit of understanding of the world around you." Allen was referring to Johnson's seeming total lack of knowledge of anything outside of America's borders. "When your response to the question, "how do you feel about Benghazi?" is "It's OK, but I usually prefer pineapple" you need to brush up on you foreign policy." Allen went even further, "I think he's lucky that he's only been asked about foreign leaders and areas. He'd really look bad when he started coming up blank on state capitals outside of New Mexico."
He is also seemed skeptical about how much Gary Johnson really "wants it." "You'd think if you really wanted to be a serious presidential candidate you would try a little harder to make sure people know about it." Allen stated. "It takes a little more than some Facebook spam, and a few live video blogs from a smart phone to get your name out to the general public." His main point being, "If there was ever an election cycle where a legitimate third party option had a chance it is this one. If Gary Johnson really put in the effort it takes to be president, he would probably be president."
Asked about Jill Stein, Allen simply responded, "who's Jill Stein?" and left it at that.
With a political season that has offered no hope of any positive change for the general population, Doctor Dement's plan for himself just might be the most helpful, "I, personally, will treat this political season like the worst bender imaginable, and deal with he aftermath like you do all bad hangovers. I will sleep it off, and then go about my business. At the end of the day what is going to be the difference?"
