Cracker Jack Is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be
At least not anymore. No more nice little junky prizes to look forward to in the Cracker Jack package. They are being replaced by -- hold onto your hats -- digital codes for mobile games! Can you believe it? I'm a big fan of digital stuff. But NOT in my Cracker Jack package where I'm looking for a junky little surprise to brighten my day NOW. Phooey, phooey, phooey. What is the world...
Read full storyOzzie Osbourne Surprised to Find Out He's Still Married to Sharon
London, England Ozzie Osbourne, former lead singer of Black Sabbath and star of the Osbournes reality show, was shocked when he was served with divorce papers while dining on Roast Bat. "I thought we ended that bloody travesty of a marriage years...
Read full storySanders' solution to super delegates: kryptonite
Burlington, Vermont - - "Are the super delegates stacking the deck in my opponent's favor? Yes definitely. Do the super delegates have a weakness like Superman? I should say so. Am I going to do something about it? Most definitely. "That's why I'm...
Read full storySarah Palin Explains the "Science Scam"
Wasillly, Alaska One-time Alaskan Governor and failed politician Sarah Palin attempted to explain today the "Science Scam" as she has named it. "Science people have just been making up stuff for years and trying to see if everyone else will go for...
Read full storyAmerican Airlines "Terrorist" Code Cracked
An American Airline flight was delayed for more than two hours after a passenger identified a terrorist on board sending cryptic messages written in Arabic. Our roving reporter bribed authorities and managed to get a copy of his message. This...
Read full storyDuchess Kate Changes Hair Style to Take Press Attention from Castle Demolition
London, England Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, has raised a giant stir in the British Isles by changing her hairstyle. This has just been discovered to be a smoke screen in order to cover up the fact that Kate has ordered the 214 year old Anme...
Read full storyTrump Defends Trump University as "Most Loved College Ever"
New York, NY Donald Trump defended his latest debacle, Trump University, which he is in the process of going to court to defend the "university" of fraud and other charges. The latest from the maelstrom is that teachers and administrators coerced...
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