Bedlam blasts all over a Donald Trump rally at Sam Houston Race Course
Donald Trump was the last to show up at his convention in Texas yesterday, where he wailed and railed about Latino people, calling them a number of vile and racist names. He also threw some racist rhetoric at one of the favorite sons of Texas, Ted Cr...
Read full storyGod No Show
Police were called out to the village of "No" in Shropshire in the early hours of this morning after pensioners staged a riot over the "non appearance of God". Forty seven geriatrics were arrested for a variety of public order offences. The annual...
Read full storyThe tooth and nothing but the tooth: Donald Trump defends dental floss
New York - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has come down hard on the recent government report that calls dental floss "a waste of time." "This is bad news, folks," Trump said. "First they rigged the dentist chair so they could play...
Read full storyBoko Haram Musical Chairs
Legendary ass clown terrorist group Boko Haram have a new leader and much like gynaecologists they love a good cunt. The announcement was made in the latest issue of a IS magazine which doubles up as toilet paper in most countries it's sold in. Ab...
Read full storyWalcott's Wing Worry
One of Arsenals professional injury specialists has came out in support of the new England manager and finally clarified the position he wants to play. Surprisingly it's not left back on the fracture ward. Theo Walcott has stated that he "wants' t...
Read full storyWayne Rooney's final wig attempt televised live on Facebook!
Facebook have decided to show a unique insight into the bald life of superstar footballer, Wayne Rooney, tonight! They will be live-streaming his road to baldness live and there will even be close-ups of several attempts to reconstruct his thinning,...
Read full storyDrinking By The Sea
In a drive to arrest falling numbers of visitors to our seaside towns one such place has taken drastic measures to ensure it's future. Sleepy Salminton On Sea has declared that every visitor over the age of 18 can claim a free bottle of wine upon arr...
Read full storyHillary Reveals Chicken Butt Tattoo To Woo Millenials: Trump Reacts
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an attempt to woo undecided Millennial voters, Hillary Clinton yesterday went against traditional Democratic values to reveal what a casual observer might suggest is a tattoo of the business end of a chicken's alimentary canal.
Read full story2016 NFL Predictions: Part 2
*Former Minnesota Viking running back Onterrio Smith makes a comeback, not as a player, but as a pitchman for his new Whizzinator-like product to help players beat drug tests. The product, which is endorsed by the estate of Prince, is called the "Pur...
Read full storyAthletes Line Up To Give Their Awards To Donald Trump
After Clint Eastwood gave Donald Trump one of his Oscars, athletes from the Olympic games, to the NBA and NASCAR have stirred controversy by pledging to give their awards to Donald Trump to show their confidence in his candidacy--Jackie Joyner even o...
Read full storyHigh-fives Are Out, Fist-bumps Are In
Why? You ask. Well, here are a few possible reasons for the change: -- It may be more sanitary. Not exposing your whole hand to your friend's germs is a good thing. Why let your open palm sap up ALL your friend's germs, when your fist might have contact with only a limited number of them? -- Fingernail grooming may be greatly reduced. Yippee! Groom one thumbnail, and you'll probably be good...
Read full storyClint Eastwood Gives One Of His Oscars To Donald Trump
After Donald Trump was embarrassed into giving a Purple Heart back to the veteran who earned it, Clint Eastwood offered up one of his four Oscars to The Donald. Speaking at a Trump rally in Denver, Clint Eastwood gave Donald Trump the academy awar...
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