Suicidal Man Orders Chocolate Milk In Pub, Fights With Police
A US man tried to commit suicide by cop outside of a Brixton pub and learned that not all police respond with lethal force as a first measure. Barkeep Angela DeBroder described what happened that night at Jubilee Pub and Bistro. "Anyone could...
Read full storyThe graphics are better than your eyes!
The release of the OceanX virtual reality goggles caused a stir in the gaming industry today when it was revealed that its visual display had better graphics than the human eye can process. Described as the "Holy Grail" of virtual reality, the Oce...
Read full storyLocal Woman Literally Can't Even
Zara Beresford was rescued from her home last night by paramedics that were called to the scene with reports that she literally couldn't even. She was taking pictures of her dinner when she suddenly realised that the left and right sides of her br...
Read full storyAnti-drugs campaign causes controversy
The Police Service of Northern Ireland has broken records worldwide today as they began their new anti-drugs campaign and immediately reduced Belfast's drug consumption to zero. However, gay rights activists have called the campaign "crass" and "unbe...
Read full storyChris Christie Scales Trump Tower with Toilet Plungers Begging for Meeting
New York City, NY - NJ Governor Chris Christie was reportedly seen scaling Trump Tower using two toilet bowl plungers and a rope to try to secure a meeting with Donald J. Trump. Gov. Christie climbed to the second floor of the famous glass tower onl...
Read full storySlovenia Demands that Melania Return Home
Ljubljana, Slovenia - The government of Slovenia, through its Ministry of Justice, together with the Slovenian Financial Administration, has issued a formal demand on Melanija Knavs, now known Mrs. Melania Trump, to return to her home country. T...
Read full storyLegendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen
Baltimore, MD - He was so different. He was black but Canadian. He was black and specialized in Hockey commentary and play by play, sometimes assuming a fake French accent when he did the latter at a velocity quicker than even the most amped up Per...
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