Florida college promises No More Genital Probes
Orlando, Florida - Some dirty old men at an Orlando college have been slapped with a multi-million dollar lawsuit for running a diagnostic sonography program on students' vaginas. Women studying at the Orlando Vulva Academy had been told their A-...
Read full storyFIFA supports corruption as laissez-faire
Amid calls for his dismissal FIFA President Sepp Blatter refused to condemn allegations of widespread corruption within soccer's governing body. FOX news reported earlier today that President Blatter strongly opposes any investigation of FIFA.
Read full storyBig Red ACME Amphibious Anvil Machine Rolls Into Ramadi: Field Marshal Coyote Hums Tune
BILLINGSGATE POST: Reminiscent of General George Patton's counterattack in 1944 which liberated Germany from the Nazi regime, newly appointed Field Marshall Wile E. Coyote stood on the hood of his Hummer and watched as his Big Red ACME Amphibious An...
Read full storyShopping centre evacuated after spillage
A busy shopping centre was evacuated after a water spillage occurred inside. The spillage is thought to have started on the ground floor of Wilkinson in The Pentagon Shopping Centre in Chatham, Kent at 5:30pm while a janitor was cleaning the floor...
Read full storyTom Cruise Tells North Dakota High School Class "You Can Do It!"
Shit City, North Dakota - Celebrity Tom Cruise likes to give back. Having given millions of dollars to homeless men and women throughout Canada and New Zealand, the actor says he now wishes to "deign to condescend to backwoods hicks" and has schedul...
Read full story'New species' of ancient human found
A new species of ancient human has been unearthed in the Afar region of Ethiopia, scientists report. Researchers discovered jaw bones and teeth, which date to between 3.3m and 3.5m years old.The teeth showed signs of violent clenching and grinding...
Read full storyTracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart
Today Tracy Morgan, famed comedian and star of many funny programs, settled his automobile head-trauma case with not-so-funny Walmart. The terms of the settlement were confidential, but for a price, (undisclosed,) we were able to determine the gen...
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