Senate undergoes conflict resolution therapy
Today, the Senate had an unusual session. Unable to pass the Patriot Act because of divisions in the Democrat and Republican parties, the Senate agreed to hear from Prof. Wilton Carlisle, the noted psychologist and conflict resolution expert, hoping...
Read full storyElderly resident laments changing of the times, wishes 'cocksucker' was still popular
Harfold, Vt. - Harfold resident Samuel Cater, 86, pondered today the changes he's witnessed throughout the years, and he regrets seeing so much slip out of fashion. "I remember," reminisced Cater setting his Playboy aside, "when you could call som...
Read full storyLink between rocks and humans discovered
Year: 2 Billion A.D. Famed Paleo-Anthro-Ist, Dr. Luke Doctor, has discovered, what he believes is the link between humans and rocks. Dr. Doctor has long believed that rocks, mountains and the like, are alive, just as humans. Of course living for rocks is different than living for humans. "So," Dr. Doctor says, "is living for plants different from rocks and humans. Plants turn toward the s...
Read full story'A Beautiful Launderette' numbers man found RIP in back of Yellow Cab
New Jersey - A topnotch mathematician thought to have been the inspiration behind the movie 'A Beautiful Launderette' has been found in a deceased condition inside a crashed New Jersey cab. John Doe Jr and his wife Jane, both 103, were in the bac...
Read full storyThings that you knew you didn't want to know about Saudi Arabia.
In Saudi Arabia, the society is segregated so that boys and girls never meet each other. Over there, any guy who's ever had a girlfriend in his life is called a womanizer. Over there, when a guy kisses a girl, they call it rough sex. There is a public service announcement running on TV over there telling people not to kiss each other and that if they absolutely must, that the woman should be...
Read full storyThe secret campaign slogan that Obama is trying to gift Hillary Clinton
Obama now says that he was misquoted by the media during the last election campaign and that his words were taken out of context. Obama claims that what all of this shows is the harmful effect on journalism that the cuts and downsizing at large Ameri...
Read full storyObama orders military to battle global warming
Top pentagon officials were quick to react in the wake of President Obama's recent proclamation to graduates of a military academy that "climate change" is a top "threat to "global security" and that military leaders who don't take appropriate action...
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