Blair appointed Head of Procurement for new Arab League Army
Cairo, Egypt - Cynics are calling it a 30 pieces-of-silver arrangement cobbled together by the global arms industry. This morning members of the Arab League meeting in Shark el-Sheikh announced Blair's appointment to the newly forged $10bn pan-Ar...
Read full storySturgeon's botched sex-change op has astounding revelations for Scottish politics
Our intrepid Weeki Leeks reporter had triumphed again with the following revelations. Thirty something years ago a young Scottish person named Nicholas Sturgeon had a sex change operation performed by Dr Herman Clitterman in his clandestine surgery...
Read full storyNormal Drug Being Tested on Patients
After rigorous studies at Columbian University, scholars have determined that most Americans need the drug Itsinurhedicone, or more commonly known to consumers as "Normal." Although the mind altering drug is frowned upon by many moralists, Doctor...
Read full storyBust Size & Tips
Every waitress wants TIPS. The American scientist Michael Lynn conducted a study of 482 waitresses at the age of 18 years and older. Waitresses rated themselves and answer the following questions: 1. In what year were you born? 2. What is your bra size? 3. What color is your hair? 4. How big around is your waist? 5. How big around are your hips? 6. How tall are you? 7. How much do you...
Read full storyThe Unhappy Famous
Suicide bombers' favourite magazine "What-Makes-U-Tick" recently did a biographical study of the rich and famous. It is soon to be made into a fifteen part Television Series by CNN. It appears that few, if any of them, were actually happy with their station in life. Envied by millions all over the world, yet they felt they would have been much happier as somebody else. The article titled "...
Read full storyBoyband Member Number Five Heads in the Wrong Direction
The fifth clone member of renowned boyband No Directions has left, to pursue a career in the fast food industry. On Thursday, Number Five decided to dramatically quit the pop super group in favour of starting a more ordinary line of work. Numbe...
Read full storyBack In Gear: The new Jeremy Clarkson motoring show!
Back In Gear HQ, London: Jeremy Clarkson BACK to present live shows to avoid paying out £10million in refunds to angry fans. Jeremy Clarkson will front the 'Back in Gear' Live World Tour, with Richard Hammond and James May, which is set to make more...
Read full storyDolphins Capable of Having "Frenemies" study finds
Jim Vogal, a marine biologist with who specializes in the study of aquatic mammals has published a shocking discovery. Dolphins, long known for their intelligence and libertine tendencies toward sexual matters are even more complex than once believed...
Read full storyDangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them
What to do in the Grand Canyon if: you are confronted by a black bear- Calmly stand your ground and fight back. Do not run as they will chase you. a rock slide occurs above you- Quickly try to determine where the rock slide is coming down and run horizontally in the opposite direction. you are walking along the street and a car with California rental license plates is coming towards you...
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