Jihadis pissed at German pilot's harakiri limelight snatch
Syria - Leaders of the wannabe caliphate are threatening to sue a dead GermanThings Airline pilot for stealing the limelight with his harakiri plunge. Jihadi top brass are claiming sole global copyright on nutjob atrocities involving mass civilian...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Announces Surgical Removal of His Balls and Prostate
Brad Pitt held a press conference in Hollywood today and announced his support for Angela Jolie having more of her organs removed. He stated; "I love my wife with or without her tits or her ovaries!" He said:"to prove my undying love for Angela...
Read full storySeven Party Political Death Match
The seven largest UK political parties have announced they will partake in a tag-team death match before the results of the looming election are revealed. The event will be staged at Wembley Stadium and fights will involve key members of the Blues...
Read full storyCalifornia Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights
SACRAMENTO, CA - In response to a measure to allow killing of gays in California, Nigel Reynolds, attorney for the California gay rights group, "Gay Advocacy Group" (GAG), has filed a petition with the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, to a...
Read full storyMy Election Thoughts
I know you have all been waiting for this announcement before deciding how to vote in the next election, so - now is the time to give you the guidance needed to secure the future of the British Empire. We owe it to Nelson and to Wellington - the eye, arm and boot of our glorious history - to keep right on to the end of the road. Now looking at the riders in the forthcoming contest we can see...
Read full storyDictators respond to Cheney's "Worst President" Comments
Dick Cheney has said that Obama is the worst President of his lifetime. Here are a few responses: Pol Pot stated: "I agree, and I often do agree with Cheney anyway. And I feel the same way about Vietnam. Ho Chi Minh was an evil bastard. I mean, look what he did to the boat people. And look at how he humiliated the former landowning class. Anyone who would massacre innocent people on the gro...
Read full storyTheresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"
Apparently, because Theresa May is from the Conservative Party, she has the dispiriting responsibility of reluctantly assimilating individuals in a rather more blunt and crude way than Labour or Lib Dems. So she has sworn to "engage with the moderate homosexual community," in order to ensure that gay people do not cause any more "chaos, subversion and aesthetic terrorism." As a Conservative,...
Read full storyMan From Duck Dynasty With Silly Looking Beard Talks Utter Crap
The star of the US TV reality show Duck Dynasty is facing criticism after a speech that included a graphic story about Stephen Hawking being struck by lighting. Phil Robertson, one of the ones who has a stupid beard and looks like a "bit of a too...
Read full storyMegasauras Guitarist Duane Hyman returns from the dead
Ancient Rocker Duane Hyman and guitarist for the band Megasauras held a news conference today at a secret hotel in London at the request of the band's manager Rocky Road. Duane's life commitment has been to take everything to the max. He was the o...
Read full story