Vladimir Putin in Switzerland euthanasia clinic
Lugano, Switzerland - The Russian president has been spotted lecturing at the Happy Bye-Byes euthanasia clinic symposium about end-of-days solutions for political foes. Putin is thought to be negotiating a termination package for rival Kremlin mob...
Read full storyFootage from colonoscopies to be added to Google Street View
Google today announced that it has made a deal with health providers to add colonoscopies to Street View and give users the ability to explore the intestines of anyone on the planet. Google CEO Larry Page described it as the 'logical next step' af...
Read full storyDIY chain confirms Conservative order of 250,000 sheds for Housing
A DIY superstore has acknowledged the agreement in principle to the advance acquisition of 250,000 new luxury sheds for the Conservative government should they win the next election. The sheds are seen as a gap fill in the market of new affordable...
Read full storyCrazy NFL Offseason Continues with Star Traded for Snickers Bar
Just when you thought you had seen it all this busy first week of free agency in the NFL one team went the extra mile to make the most ridiculous trade of the year. The Dallas Cowboys have traded perennial "bridesmaid but never a bride" quarterb...
Read full storyChris Christie Foundation Recommends Closing the income gap for fat people
TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese. Obese people make 72 cents...
Read full storyScreening of Chinese smog documentary cancelled due to smog
An open-air screening of a controversial Chinese documentary on the country's smog problem was cancelled yesterday, as the audience were unable to see the screen. Because of all the smog. "It's extremely frustrating", said the director of the film...
Read full storyEd Miliband rehearses for 'empty chair' debate by debating empty chair
With the possibility that David Cameron could be "empty-chaired" in the TV election debates, Ed Miliband has been prepping for his appearance by debating an empty chair in private rehearsals. "Ed is very concerned about credibility", an insider to...
Read full storyNew Airbag Motorcycle Helmet causes tinnitus and temporary hearing loss
Ralph Effelburger' s new invention, the Airmet, ran into serious trouble at the Motor Cycle Show Exhibition held in the Birmingham Conference Centre yesterday . Effelburger' s 'air bag' helmet demonstration ended in complete chaos when three of...
Read full storyNASA's study of magnetosphere has Obummer seeing red
President Barry Obummer is madder than Michelle on PMS at the news that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA, for short) is spending one billion dollars "that could be better spent on propping up Obummercare," Prezident Obummer co...
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