N.R.A. Announces "Heat Packin' Pastors" Program
Washington D.C. The NRA is drawing ire from gun control lobbyist over a program aimed at helping pastors in low income communities obtain hand guns and free target shooting courses. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence called it "audacious and...
Read full storyTrump lacks one qualification for president: a brain
Doctors at Eden Memorial Hospital have confirmed that an ultrasound medical exam of Donald Trump , conducted with a GE#31932 Ultrasound,today, confirms that Trump lacks a brain. His doctor, Dr. Nino Valdenez, stated that no further tests would be...
Read full storyLocal Magician Saves Day at John Mayer Concert
In the final show of John Mayer's tour a local magician becomes the hero of the concert when the automatic paper towel dispenser won't work. Guest Garner Girthoffer was interviewed about the occurrence. "Yeah it was a mess. It's bad enough when y...
Read full storyResearch suggests parasite may be responsible for religious belief
CALIFORNIA - In 2012, the Czech evolutionary biologist Jaroslav Flegr made headlines for his claim that the parasite Toxoplasma gondii was influencing the way we think and behave. Since the publication, researchers of the Stanley Medical Research...
Read full storyRicketts Premeditates State Executions
Lincoln, Nebraska - Despite the fact that Governor Pete Ricketts' veto to repeal the death penalty was overridden by Nebraskan State Senators, Ricketts has promised to continue with executions. In his first attempt, he made a deal with an undergr...
Read full storyPrince William's rowdy university buddy Gaz turns up at door, spends night on couch
Prince William and Kate Middleton had an unexpected visitor to Buckingham Palace when William's old university drinking buddy Gaz turned up at the front door asking to stay for a bit with them. William's old friend Gaz had been on a night out in Lon...
Read full storyMad Max Maxes Out His Street Cred In Fury Road
Just saw the latest Mad Max movie. WOWZER!!! SUPER GROOVY!!! COWABUNGA!!! Mad Max just made it back to the screen after a hiatus of only 30 YEARS!!! Mel Gibson got the sack. Too old. Too racist. Can't have no one who is out saving aborigine kids in the outback being a racist now. Especially with Tina Turner somewhere in the wings waiting to do a cameo. So, anyway, we are back in...
Read full storyTexas frackers tender for Vatican's lucrative exorcism, relic-selling and excommunications business
Irving, Texas - A hydraulic fracturing trade association is bidding to take over large parts of the Vatican's hocus pocus division after the Pope fingered the global fossil fuel industry for turning the planet into a 'pile of filth'. Executives at...
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