Al Sharpton Involved In Death Threats
The mayor of Bridgeport, Conn. and his family have received several threats since appearing with the Rev. Al Sharpton on TV this week. Mayor Bill Finch was on Sharpton's MSNBC show Monday evening to discuss weather conditions in his city during the b...
Read full storyWorld Watches In Amazement as US Giggles for Two Weeks Over 'Balls'
New York-A UN resolution, sponsored by a broad coalition of stupefied nations led by Secretary-General Ban ki-Moon, called upon the United States today to "grow up, for God's sake, and stop with the stupid double entendres about deflated footballs."...
Read full storyGwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage
Chicago, Illinois - Manufacturers of the USA's best-selling steam mop are over the moon at a recent sales surge after Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow endorsed their latest must-have add-on the All American Steam Douche Attachment. The vaginal be...
Read full storyThe All-New "Shop Only - Shop Til You Drop" Credit Card
Want to get that "shopper's high" without actually spending a dime? Need that special rush of Dopamine surging into your brain as you mainstream consumer consumption? Feel that special rush as the retailer swipes and bags your 'Junk" like a heroin addict in a shooting gallery? Well - with the new "Shop Till You Drop" card you just pay a small fee to get an enormous credit limit and you can spen...
Read full storyPope Francis's Guide to Happiness
1. "LIVE AND LET LIVE." "The Pope refers to not judging others and letting them continue with their lives in a way that best suits them." Really? Would the Church even exist if it had followed this? Remember the Crusades, the so-called Holy Wars, the pact with Hitler? The forcible conversion of natives? The indoctrination of the faithful through the Catholic school system? The exploit...
Read full storyActress Gwyneth Paltrow Gives Her Lady Parts Unusual Spa Treatment
HOLLYWEIRD, CA - Always wanting to be on the cutting edge of society, actress Gwyneth Paltrow has taken "getting your carpet steam cleaned" to a new level. The 42 year-old actress now says she goes to a Hollywood spa and receives steam treatments...
Read full storyA low-life scum calls concerned citizens "low-life scum"
WASHINGTON D.C. - When's the insanity going to stop? When is this batshit-crazy old man going to retire? Will his histrionics and induced bedlam never end? The gray-headed, 78-year-old tyrant, the teabagging Republican Senior Senator from Arizona,...
Read full storyCameron compares himself to Sir Winston Churchill!
Cameron leaves blemish on 50th anniversary of Churchill's funeral! CIA HQ have received following report from star scum reporter, Sir Reginald Suck-Blood, who attended the ceremony from a gutter in Whitehall after being flushed down the bog at 10...
Read full storyDappy the Dinosaur to be moved from Natural History Museum
After 36 years, the Natural History Museum has decided to mothball Dappy the Dinosaur and make way for a new huge guest to greet visitors to the premises. From next year, a huge whale called Adele - often referred to as the fat computer in the Tho...
Read full storyThis can only happen in Holland!
CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) have just received following newsflash from Hilversum, Holland! "The gentleman who stormed Dutch TV station, NOS, has decided not to demand having sex with Queen Maxima in public and wishes to apologise. Instead h...
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