Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage

Written by queen mudder

Friday, 30 January 2015

image for Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche all the rage
Early prototype of the steam mop showing Brazilian Vax attachment

Chicago, Illinois - Manufacturers of the USA's best-selling steam mop are over the moon at a recent sales surge after Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow endorsed their latest must-have add-on the All American Steam Douche Attachment.

The vaginal beauty aid can be used in tandem with the All American Sweat Shop Corp's legendary grime-busting steam mop for forays into notoriously hard to shit - uh, shift! - nooks and crannies like the kitchen floor.

Or the back seat of the Mustang.

All for a bargain basement $9.99 when purchasing the nation's top-selling Microbe-Blitzer Steam Mop that retails around $100 at WallFart.

Gwynnie's endorsement comes amid huge international interest about steam cleaning of human genitals following a resurgence of a centuries-old practice in Korea called chai-yok.

Practitioners believe it can reduce stress, regulate menstrual cycles and get rid of hemorrhoids when utilised in conjunction with a quart of bourbon.

An iPad-controlled remote device is under construction which would enable switchng on Ms Paltrow's contraption from anywhere in the world.

Commenting on today's news story a rival steam mop manufcturer said: 'Gwyneth Paltrow steam douche' anagrams to 'Sweet womanly dog-cheap truth.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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