Pope building showers and Brazilian waxing spa for 'homeless' altar boys
Rome - Some pre-War pubic restrooms in the Catacombs have been given a makeover by the Pope with the installation of three showers, a barber's and a dumb waiter for homeless altar boys in need of a scrub. Clients, some as old as fourteen or fifte...
Read full storyPotentially new Cold War may result from Ukraine Crisis
The French and German Leaders are meeting in Moscow to try to alleviate Russian Hostilities in the Ukraine and a potentially new Cold War. President Pitun's Intentions would seem to comprise pressuring Kiev to opt out of being a threat to Russia,...
Read full storyObama Under Attack By Enraged Christians
The National Prayer Breakfast held yesterday is hosted by members of the United States Congress. It has often had controversial speakers. President Obama, himself, is now in that category as yesterday. He initially attacked the Islamic State as...
Read full storyNBC issues memo: "Thou shalt not lie" (or, at least, get caught at it)
In the wake of Bri Willyums' spurious reports of the helicopter in which he was traveling having been shot down by Iraqi soldiers during his reporting of the war in 2003 and his lying about--that is, his "mistaken accounts" of--seeing...
Read full storyDemocrats To Boycott Benjamin Netanyahu Address To Congress
When Speaker of the House John Boehner invited Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to address a joint session of Congress without White House permission, the tsunami backlash began. It is protocol that before someone is invited to address a joi...
Read full storyLupercalia! Before The Priests Ruined Valentine's Day
On this upcoming day of amative imaginings i thought you might be interested in the Pagan provenance of Valentine's day - Lupercalia! The Lupercalia festival was in honor of the She-Wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Explaining the name of the festival, Lupercalia, which translates out into "Wolf Festival." The festival was celebrated near the cave of...
Read full storyTribal Warfare in Equitorial Guinea
Newsflash: CIA HQ in Equitorial Guinea, somewhere in Africa! Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star footy reporter, Chief Daddy Longlegs-Chamberlain, observing the Africa Cup sent the following report! "A tribal war has just broke o...
Read full storyPutin 'to star in 'the Expendables 4'
Bond villain Vladamir Putin has been announced in the new line-up of the upcoming action movie sequel 'the Expendables 4'. Mr Putin, who is said to be 'thrilled' at getting the part, was announced as one of the stars of the new film by actor and p...
Read full storyGreece offers 'Charizard Pokemon card' to Germany to clear debt
The Eurozone financial crisis took a fascinating turn yesterday, as new Greek financial Minister, Yanis Varoufakis [spell check? - Ed] offered the coveted Charizard pokemon card to Germany in order to cover its widening financial black hole. Varou...
Read full storyPuntland - the new Pound Store model for Ireland opens, to be sure, to be sure
Named in honour of the Irish Punt, which sank without trace following Ireland's entry into the Euro exchange rate mechanism, a new chain of pound shops -"Puntland" - will be opening all over Ireland within months. However, Puntland will be very di...
Read full storyChurch Leaders Urge Couples To Rip Out Bathroom Suites And Kitchen Units In Time For Easter Advertising Campaigns
The Archbishop of Cranbury has called on couples not to be left behind in the post-Easter mad scramble for bathroom suites and fitted kitchens. Major furniture and bathroom superstores have announced that pre-Easter stocks are robust, but that the su...
Read full storyBrian Williams Mutates into a Giant Ass on TV! Public Aghast as NBC's Blue-Eyed Boy Desperately Neighs and Hee-Haws!
New York-'NBC Nightly News' viewers watched in fascinated horror Wednesday night as handsome, blue-eyed anchorman Brian Williams, 55, literally turned himself into an ass before their very eyes, live on TV and all within five minutes! By the end...
Read full storyISIS to Sue Boris Johnson over "Wankers" Jibe
Boris Johnson has peered into the secret findings of MI5's best brains and concluded that ISIS members are porn-watching, sexually frustrated, psychologically maladjusted males. In a recent interview in the Sun according to the London mayor, they are...
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