Puntland - the new Pound Store model for Ireland opens, to be sure, to be sure

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Friday, 6 February 2015

image for Puntland - the new Pound Store model for Ireland opens, to be sure, to be sure
The official Puntland logo

Named in honour of the Irish Punt, which sank without trace following Ireland's entry into the Euro exchange rate mechanism, a new chain of pound shops -"Puntland" - will be opening all over Ireland within months.

However, Puntland will be very different to UK Pound shops as we know them, and will be based on Michael O'Leary's RyanAir model.

While all goods on sale will be priced at 1 Euro, there will be a host of non-optional extras that will only be made clear as having to be paid for at the tills when customers want to purchase the item.

For example, the new Super Pet Dyson vacuum cleaner, retailing normally at around £370 Sterling, will be available for 1 Euro.

However, this will be for the empty box only; the purchaser will have to buy the 12 constituent parts of the vacuum at the equivalent of £20 each, there is a £20 fee for use of the store, £20 cashier's fee, £30 fee for using either cash or card to pay for it and a £30 store exit fee. While this totals £340, it still represents a saving of £30.

Similarly, a top-quality three piece suite, priced at only 1 Euro, after miscellaneous statutory charges, fees and compulsory delivery charges are applied, will cost the equivalent of £599, saving almost £50 on otherwise buying it from one of the never-ending sofa sale companies.

Declan Moron, chief executive of Puntland said he was grateful to RyanAir for showing him how to treat customers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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