Tribal Warfare in Equitorial Guinea

Written by Jaggedone

Friday, 6 February 2015

image for Tribal Warfare in Equitorial Guinea
The sickness has now spread to Africa! Not Ebola, Footbola!

Newsflash: CIA HQ in Equitorial Guinea, somewhere in Africa!

Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star footy reporter, Chief Daddy Longlegs-Chamberlain, observing the Africa Cup sent the following report!

"A tribal war has just broke out between Equitorial Guinea and Ghana at the semi-final of the Africa Cup! Rival fans were seen throwing handbags at each other and not hacking each other to death like in Rwanda (Thank the heavens the game was not between Tutsis and Hutus). Hooligans from both sides dressed for the occasion in traditional clothing, colourful dresses and barefoot (And that was just the men) started kicking the crap out of each other, but then realised kicking barefoot is quite painful, so they started throwing their handbags.
Local police entered the punch-up and managed to calm the situation until one Guinea (not pig) hooligirl gave a Ghana hooligan a left hook in the goolies and the riot started again! The game was abandoned at 3-0 for Ghana and will not be replayed because African soccer authorities fear further outbreaks of violence could effect the reputation of the Africa Cup, which is a pretty useless affair anyway!
Main sponsor, China Airlines, has refused to fly hooligans to the games until they promise to leave their handbags at home, never to raise their fists in anger and vow to follow Bob Marley in Africa Unite! (A very Utopian dream)."

Star CIA reporter, Chief Daddy Longlegs-Chamberlain, managed to escape the riots by entering the local sewers after being pursued by a bunch of raving mad Hutu's bearing machetes hoping to join in the fun!

Black or white, they're all the same; Brainless!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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