Taxidermist Receives $760K For NOT Stuffing Lesbian Couple At Wedding
BILLINGSGATE POST: Dr. Viscount Billingsgate, world famous forensic taxidermist, after receiving threats to shut down his business after he refused to provide wedding-day taxidermy services to Orvilla Leatherskin and Priscilla Featherstockings, a le...
Read full storyEric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles is to be replaced by a dugong in the General Election. The shock history-making revelation was made in an extraordinary constituency meeting in Brentwood and Ongar yesterday. "I...
Read full storySnoring... More Deadly than Ebola.
Scientists in Britain have found that heavy snoring or "sleep apnoea" can lead to psychopathic serial killing, paedophilia, joining the Freemasons and persuading entire nations to go to war against targeted little countries like Iraq that are rich in resources and helpless in defence. Notable heavy snorers were Caligula, Hitler, Rip Van Winkle, Julius Caesar, Marlene Dietrich, Doris Day, Pope...
Read full storySurrey farmer turns his castle into luxury pig pen
Surrey farmer Mr.Fiddler (name changed for legal reasons and Marks legal costs) did some "hey-diddling" in 2008 and secretly built himself a castle on green belt land after being refused planning permission. The local council discovered the castle...
Read full storyClint Eastwood's Butler Knows Its Only A Matter of Time
Carmel, Ca - For the past three years Clint Eastwoood's butler, Arthur Grimes, has prepared himself for the inevitable day that he will be out of a job after finding his employer dead. "Every morning I check the classifieds and check in with an em...
Read full storyBrighton Pier won't be charged with sex offences
Brighton, West Sussex - Despite sackfuls of evidence of what really went on in the back of its dodgem bumper cars the UK's premier pleasure pier will not be charged with decades of kiddy-fiddling. This morning Crown Prosecutors admitted they'd bl...
Read full storyNew "Hire-A-Thug" Parking App is All The Rage!
San Francisco, CA - Ivor Putinski loves his new home in America, and wanted nothing more than to use his various talents to help improve the lives of the people in his newly adopted country. This inspired Ivor to develop his new "Hire-A-Thug" iPhone...
Read full storyMark Stone can still jerk off
There was a scary moment in last night's game between the Ottawa Senators and the Montreal Canadiens. Following a PK Subban slash, Ottawa's Mark Stone collapse on the ice, writhing in pain. He promptly left the ice holding his right wrist. "I'm o...
Read full storyRepublican Presidential Candidates Announce Their Rides After Hillary Clinton's Success In Her 'Scooby" Van
WASHINGTON, DC - Republican candidates, Mark Rubio, Rand Paul and Ted Cruz held a joint news conference to announce their choices in transportation, after Hillary Clinton's huge media success with her "Scooby" van. Mr. Paul will be driving a 2003...
Read full storyRejected Book Review by Salman Rushdie
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS by Jonathan Swift Paperback Diamond in the Literary Sky Jonathan Swift is arguably the most significant satirist in the history of English prose. Nowhere is this better illustrated than in his timeless work, 'Gulliver's Travels'. Since its publication in 1726, critics have recognised it as the most accomplished satirical castigation of Enlightenment modernism e...
Read full storyObama Tells Grade School Students He Is Not A Tax and Spend Liberal
Charlottesville, NC- President Obama expressed amazement today that his political opponents sometimes call him a "tax and spend liberal." On a visit to an historically segregated, poor performing all black school, the President told students that h...
Read full storyGovernment of Ghana set to sue the Confederation of African Football
The Confederation of African Football (CAF), last week, at the federation's General Assembly chose Gabon over Ghana to host the 2017 edition of the African Cup of Nations Tournament. The Government, as well as some officials of the Ghana Football...
Read full storyIt's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a 61-year-old mailman flying a gyrocopter onto the Capitol grounds!
Washington, D.C. - An eccentric madman - oh, no wait! I meant to say mailman - wanting to make a political point landed on the Capitol grounds Wednesday (April 15). He flew down on some kind of contraption that looked like it was put together by a k...
Read full storyPresident John Dramani Mahama's promise to increase the number of Konkombas in his administration drives many to change their ethnicity
In reaction to the complains of the Leaders of the Konkomba community in the Northern Region of Ghana, President John Dramani Mahama has promised to increase the number of people from the Konkomba ethnic group serving in his government very soon.
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